I spent the first part of this week at a business conference
where, to my surprise, a fair amount of attention was paid to the art of being
authentic. This was unexpected but
okay. Working on women’s issues for my entire
career, there is no doubt that I have spent a good share of my time at
conferences on empowerment and authenticity, so it was not entirely new
territory for me.
The messages may have settled in more deeply this time,
though, because my sister and I were somehow able to finagle time together for the
two days before the conference began: a mini-vacation for both of us. A slowing of her work schedule allowed her to
somewhat spontaneously come and meet me, and a savings to my employer in plane
fare allowed me to arrive before the conference started.
It actually doesn’t matter where I am with either of my
sisters or my sister-niece or my mom.
From the moment we see each other to the moment we depart, there is a
strong current of conversation, catch up, and life analysis. This time we sprinkled in healthy eating and
a lot of activity, which added to the enjoyment.
While we biked, jogged, hydrated, ate, and talked we
unknowingly started in on the conference theme of authenticity well before the
conference began. I was engrossed in a
work project which should have been completed long ago, and we spent a lot of
time analyzing why it is we procrastinate.
We talked about how fear of failure and fear of rejection permeate so
much of our personal and professional lives.
We are both accomplished women – my sister a professor of
veterinary medicine and an equine surgeon.
Yet we still struggle with these eternal issues of confidence and
competence – at least they are eternal with us.
It’s defeating, but also humorous, that despite hours of conversations,
pages of self-heath books, months of life-coaching, advanced degrees,
promotions and awards – we still struggle.
Yet somehow, we are learning to live with some of these
deficiencies, and trying to embrace them as friends. Trying to be a little bit easier on ourselves
as we work through issues that – on the surface seem pretty straight forward,
but beneath are a foundation of layered onions.
It reminds me of Eat Pray Love
– when Liz is in Italy
finding joy and happiness after a long draught.
She finds her self peacefully alone in her flat – and then suddenly
finds herself surrounded by “her old friends fear and depression. ” Or even in the gorgeous movie Beautiful Mind – the brilliant main
character who figures out how to live with his schizophrenia induced
“imaginary” friends as an alternative to another round of confinement and
medication and searching for a “cure.”
The conference I attended included keynote speakers who are
literally giants in business and global diversity. And nearly every keynote speech, breakout
session, and small group carried a
message of being authentic, confident and fearless as the key to success. Yes, figuring out the business aspects of your their work was difficult and challenging, but what made the difference for them was/is how they are as people. The women carrying the messages of authenticity and confidence made the most memorable impact on me, and they also happened to be the most successful and accomplished on the roster of our conference:
the business owner netting millions of dollars in sales annually who
listened to a mix of powerful music including several Mary Jane Blige songs regularly during intense
negotiations during a company sell-off; the Switzerland-based global executive from a fast food
chain making a desperate phone call to a trainer and coach
after years of unchecked health and wellness due to a frenzied job and life. Even
her, I thought. Even her.
Struggle is not beyond me. I wish it were. I suspect it’s what I do with it and how I
meet the struggle that encourages growth.
And that growth, eventually gives me the skills to overcome some of my
challenges. I cannot change some of the
basic tenants of who I am, but I can continually greet them and try and
understand them.
That’s my authentic message for today. And maybe it's a little encouraging, too.
